Satya, or truthfulness, was this past week’s Yama. (If you need a refresher on the Yamas and Niyamas, click back to last week’s post.) As I stated previously, these ethical principles build on each other. This week was not only Truthfulness. It was Truthfulness paired with Non-harming. Non-harming coming first, always.
I want to share my summary from the Yamas & Niyamas book on Satya again before getting into my own experience.
- Be real, rather than nice – what are you so afraid of that you must lie?
- Express yourself freely, without fear of judgment – don’t tie yourself up in a bow to be perfectly presented to others: be real.
- Choose growth over comfort – at times we outgrow our space, our people. Find the balance between your need to grow and your need to belong. If your desire to belong is greater than your inner need for growth, are you bring true to yourself? Are you sacrificing something to stay within a group?
- Be mindful, act right and be honest the first time – honor yourself and others so you don’t have to go back and clean up a mess later.
- As we grow, our truths change. What was true for us as a teenager may no longer resonate as an adult – continue to check in and make sure you are still aligned with your truth.
- Be kind in your honesty – There are ways to be honest without harming another. Truth + non-harming = our honesty will not be used as a weapon. This also pairs with doing the right thing the first time (see above)
- Being honest offers depth – Being present, centered in the moment, can help us address both the ordinary things in life as well as the challenges. To be real requires courage.
It’s not easy to be honest and kind and real and courageous and not worried about others’ judgments. It takes a lot of effort and self-reflection. That’s why Satya is a Yama – a restraint. Can you have enough self-control to not only be true to yourself, but also not harm yourself or others?
My experience this week was not an easy one. There were a few instances where I had to choose whether to be honest and real, or dishonest in the name of non-harming. I am choosing not to share the exact situations, in order to keep matters private.
I have a bad habit of being dishonest when it comes to my feelings in certain situations. Something I have specifically been working on this year, prior to this assignment. I have worked on being honest with compassion to a friend or two who have hit some hard times, but also need less coddling and more tough love. I pushed through discomfort of being honest in order to be real. I have put “niceness” on the backburner in a lot of situations. Because, truly, What are you so afraid of that you must lie?
And while I’ve chosen here to keep some things more covert, there is one thing I will share freely from this week. I went to a Christmas party with a friend for her company. When the music came on, I felt in my bones to dance. Often, in these situations, I’ll play small – deny what I want to do in fear (!) of judgments – self & others. But this particular night showcased my growth. I decided I could dance in my seat, feeling silly, and regret doing what I wanted to do. Or I could get off my butt and enjoy life. Would I regret not getting out of my chair tomorrow? I danced so much that night. With not a care in the world. And I look back on that moment with pride. I was real. I expressed myself, without fear of judgment. I chose growth. I was present in the moment.
In my journal, I’ve called this a victory. But I don’t think that’s the correct wording – because the conscious choices to be dishonest could then be called failures. Neither is really true. In all cases, I assessed the situation, and I did what was best for me and those involved. That’s the victory. That I acted with kindness and realness, whether or not I ended up being honest. I was true to myself through and through.
Care to attempt this challenge for a week?
Do you struggle being honest or real about something(s) in particular?
What are you so afraid of that you must lie?
Next week: Non-stealing. See you then!
Raising LeBar 