Practice makes perfect.

The Yamas an Niyamas are the ethical principles of yoga. There are ten of them – five Yamas, five Niyamas. The Yamas focus on “restraints,” while the Niyamas focus on “observances.” Over the span of ten weeks, I am to practice one of these per week. Last week was the first Yama (or restraint): Ahimsa, or non-harming. I bought a book on these principles, The Yamas and Niyamas (by Deborah Adele), in order to learn a little more about them. I was hoping it would help me understand them a little more in depth and give me a broader perspective while practicing.

Ahimsa is the practice of non-harming, or non-violence. We weren’t given strict parameters surrounding this (for example, some take this to the broadest meaning and become vegan while practicing non-harming). Instead, we were told to read a bit about the principle for the week and at the end of each week write about your experience.

While reading the book about the Yamas and Niyamas, I found that there are things within ourselves that we can control in order to practice this more effectively. I’ll briefly list these and then get into my experience of practicing Ahimsa this week.

To practice Ahimsa, we must come from a place of…

• Compassion – acknowledging that everyone walks with some type of pain
• Trust – have faith in your abilities and others’ abilities; do not worry
• Support – focus less on “fixing”/helping and more on offering your support
• Love – practice non-judgment, of yourself first, and then others
• Power – you always have a choice
• Balance – when there is dis-ease in yourself, it will find a way to come out
• Courage – feel the fear, and do it anyway – be afraid, but don’t let that fear paralyze you; come with an open heart

Having a kind of template for what I need to have control of within myself really helped me throughout the week. It gave me parameters to measure myself. For example, am I being snippy because it is late, and I am too tired? That shows there is dis-ease within my body – I am tired. To regain my balance, I need to go to sleep and tackle whatever task I’m struggling with at a time where I am more balanced – in this case, more rested.

As the week progressed, I found the practice of coming from a place of compassion led me to taking a moment – a breath – before responding/reacting to a person/situation. It gave me a moment to choose my reaction, instead of having a knee-jerk reaction, which may be hurtful to the receiver. I was discussing this “moment for breath” with a friend and she brought up a quote by Viktor Frankl. (Viktor Frankl, for those who don’t know, was a neurologist and psychiatrist from Austria, as well as a Holocaust survivor. He wrote a book called Man’s Search for Meaning – highly recommend). The quote my friend referenced was:

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space.

In that space is our power to choose our response.

In our response lies our growth and freedom.”

Practicing Ahimsa was causing me to allow for that space – and that space was allowing me room for growth.

This is not to say the week went smoothly by any means. I had my moments where I forgot I was supposed to be practicing and lost my self-control. And I also had a feeling that I was depriving myself of working through my own feelings. I would suppress my knee-jerk reaction and instead I’d respond from a place of love…time and time again. And after a full day of challenging encounters, I wondered, “Is this healthy?” I felt like I was ignoring my own feelings to appease others. I refrained from venting/complaining to my friends. And it just overall felt like I was holding negative feelings inside. Is that best? To deny my own feelings? Or, by doing so, am I doing the world a service by not adding more negativity into the universe? To not hurt someone else’s feelings because I’m lacking balance or forethought?

As I pondered this dilemma, two things came to the surface.

First: I don’t need to ignore my own feelings. But just because I have a negative feeling, doesn’t mean it needs to be spewed out of my mouth. I can choose the high road, the road of compassion, in the moment. And I can revisit my negative feelings and tend to myself later. I don’t need to hurt someone just because I have a reaction to what they say/do or the situation.

I feel like that bears repeating: It is not necessary to hurt someone because I am experiencing a feeling.

And, in addition to that, I can tell someone they are wrong, or out of line, or whatever, withOUT being hurtful. It just takes some navigation – which can be assessed in the space between stimulus and response.

Second: This is the practice! To find the balance, to find the love. No, it’s not easy to always come from a place of compassion, especially when I am feeling especially un-compassionate. But why does someone else need to suffer? Isn’t there enough suffering in the world? The practice is to be in control of one’s self. To be able to choose one’s response, rather than running on autopilot.

And couldn’t we all benefit from a little more compassion? A little more breathing? A little more space to decide how to act? A little more self-control?

This was an eye-opening week. The assignments only call for one week of practice for each ethical principle. I don’t think that is enough. But just because we’re only expected to practice a week doesn’t mean I can’t continue!

Ahimsa is the first Yama. The rest of the principles build upon this. When all else fails, non-harming is the most important. The next Yama is Satya: Truthfulness.

I’d love to hear your thoughts!