What is your comfort zone? You may not have an exact definition explaining it, but I’m sure you know exactly what it means to you. It’s the space in which you are relaxed, comfortable. You feel at ease when you’re within that zone. Your stress and anxiety levels are at their lowest.
Now can you pinpoint where your DIScomfort zone starts? This may be a little less clear. You may not know exactly what situations are over the edge of your comfort border, but you likely have an inkling as to what stepping out of your comfort zone feels like.
I’ve been grappling a bit with the need for a big change. But with big change comes a lot of newness, a lot of uncertainty. And while I’m sure I am not the first to coin it, the phrase “discomfort zone” popped into my head. My definition for this is anything that makes you feel, well, uncomfortable. For most people, anything unfamiliar will feel uncomfortable – at first. And that’s an important distinction.
Why? Because you will adapt. Things are nerve-wracking, scary, intimidating – at first. And then they become more normal, and eventually routine.
Were you nervous for your first day at your first job? I’m sure. But then you got used to it.
What about going away to college? Probably, but then you got used to it.
For me, when my dad died when I was young, that was terrifying. One of the biggest changes a small person can encounter. But then it becomes the new normal.
I use that extreme example to show you can pretty much get used to anything, even if it rocks the entire foundation your life was built on.
We can get through those big scary things, adapt, and that becomes our new normal. Our comfort zone expands. What was once uncomfortable is now comfortable. We’ve grown, matured. It was likely for our greater good in some way (no matter how awful it was).
Now, while I was ruminating over this Discomfort Zone idea last night, I realized something else. When you’re in a place that is within your comfort zone, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you are happy. And when you are in your comfort zone and unhappy, is it really that comfortable?
You may have the strong urge to make a change. That change is out in the DIScomfort zone and may be very scary. But when you’re in your comfort zone and unhappy, one may even say THAT becomes your discomfort zone. You feel the need to get out. So, you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place: a “comfort” zone that is no longer comfortable, but familiar, and a “discomfort” zone that looks so appealing but is definitely not comfortable.
I am in that spot.
And while it is not comfortable on either side, I’m trying to GET comfortable with the unfamiliar side. I want to get comfortable in the discomfort. I know it won’t last forever. Very quickly after jumping over that border that discomfort zone will become my new normal. My comfort zone will expand to encompass what was once outside of its borders. It will become comfortable. It will become routine. I will grow. I will mature. And it will all be for my greater good.
We should always be striving for growth. Because there is no stagnancy in life. You’re either growing or shrinking. And do we really want to look back on our lives and think: what was I thinking? Wasting all that time doing/not doing ______, when I should have been moving forward and living my best life!
Of course not. I can’t imagine anyone would want to look back on their lives and have regrets. I know we all WILL, for one reason or another. But if you can change something, if you can make your life better NOW, why wouldn’t you?
Remember the Baz Luhrmann song Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)? He says, “do one thing every day that scares you.” Maybe not EVERY day. But do something! Make waves. Try new things. Stretch yourself. The chance you’ll regret taking the risk is much lower than the regret of looking back and wishing you had.
Now, off to take my own advice!
Raising LeBar 