Be the beginner.

I’ve heard this phrase a handful of times over the past few years and it always strikes a chord in my soul. The first time I heard this was on one of my favorite podcasts: That’s So Retrograde. They had an episode with Emily Pereira (@emilybegins) discussing this. Emily described her own journey and how she was advised by her spiritual teacher to “give yourself permission to be the beginner.” I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately.

What stops us from moving forward in life? Whether it be taking risks, changing careers, stepping out of our comfort zone, there’s often something that stops us. Usually that something is fear. Fear comes in many forms. There’s fear of failure, fear of success, fear of what others will think of us, fear of not having enough knowledge…and the list can go on, I’m sure.

It’s scary to take a leap into something new (rewind back to my very first blog post!). But there are things that can help make that leap more like a skip – a lot less intimidating. So, what can help?

• Make a plan. This plan should be detailed – break. it. down. Figure out what you want to do and think about how you can get there. Break that goal down into tiny, manageable steps. I always think of that episode of Friends when it is Monica and Chandler’s wedding day and Chandler gets cold feet. Ross talks him down into taking baby steps: “We’re just gonna go home and take a shower. Now that’s not scary, right?” And it’s not. So, break it down!
• Take action. A lot of what we fear can be squelched simply by taking action. Some people use the acronym F.E.A.R. to mean “Face Everything And Recover.” Make your plan, and then START! What one actin can you take right now – today? If you consistently take one step per day – or even one step per week – you’re likely going to squash that fear and move forward.
• Permission to be the beginner. It’s not just being the beginner that is important here. We’ve all been beginners at something at some point. But giving yourself permission to be the beginner is liberating! Think about it: If you start a new job as a total novice and you make a mistake, learn from it (obv), but you’ll have that voice in the back of your head saying, “hey, of course you didn’t know that. You’re brand new at this! But you’re learning. It’s ok!” Forgive yourself, learn, and continue to move forward.

In being the beginner, you can realize that everyone starts off not knowing in the beginning. Everyone has doubts. It can give you the freedom to treat yourself with some humility. It can allow you to ask questions without feeling “dumb.” In the podcast episode I mentioned, Emily states that her spiritual teacher told her “you’re a beginner! You aren’t expected to know anything – you can’t fail!” Doesn’t that just take the weight right off your shoulders? And as you keep doing and keep learning, you’ll grow. You’ll still be a beginner in some areas, and you’ll be experienced in areas that you were once a beginner in.

Now…in order to be the beginner, you must first begin. You will never improve if you don’t start. And of course, starting is the hardest part. But if you start, you’ll conquer your fear. And if, in the end, that goal/career/choice is not for you, then at least you know that for sure. You gave it a chance. You won’t ever wonder in a cloud of regret. And if it is for you, well, keep going! Take action, adjust, take action, adjust. It’s an ongoing process.

Can you think back to something that you once struggled with, but it comes easy to you now (or at least easier)? Think about something you’ve excelled in. Can you remember when you first began? What was your motivation? How did you get through it?

Look back at those things – maybe even make a list of how you handled it and moved through it. When you face your fears, you extend your comfort zone and grow as a person. I read a quote recently that said when in doubt “you always have the past to look forward to.” It took me a minute to get it, but now I love it. When you’re facing something hard, you WILL get through it. And when you do, you can look back with either pride (“I did that!”) or relief (“Whew, I’m glad that’s over!) – or maybe both!

So, what are you sitting on because of fear? Can you make a plan? Can you take some small action today? This week? Focus on progress, not perfection. Do the best you can with the knowledge you currently have. Believe in yourself. And allow yourself to be the beginner.